PTSD Confessions

Hello! This a community to help those who suffer from or are around PTSD. If you have any questions feel free to come and talk to us. If you are submitting through the ask box, please specify this.
This blog is not trigger free, so please be careful!
Stay strong, we love you all! xx


Disclaimer: The But! series is being done to address common self victim blaming. This series is not intended to be used to educate non-survivors. This series is done by a survivor for other survivors. The pronouns used in the But! series will be random, often times switching even throughout the post.

But… women can’t rape…

But it can’t be as bad because she was a girl.

Survivors who have been raped and abused by women are often dismissed because women aren’t the stereotyped attacker.

But women can coerce and use force just the same as men can. and women can and do abuse their positions of power in order to get away with rape and abuse. Society only enables this by claiming that women cannot be abusers/rapists.

If you were raped by a woman, you are still allowed to just call it rape. You are not some asterisk, some subset that is somehow lesser. What you went through is no less traumatic due to the gender of the person doing the assaulting.

It does not mean that you should have been able to get away- to over power her, because after all, you were evenly matched or stronger. We recognize the argument ‘you should have fought more’ as victim blaming when talking to survivors of men, and we can do the same when talking to survivors of women. Physical strength is not the only type of threat out there, and the idea that women must be weak enough to be easily fought off is ridiculous.

Your trauma is valid. You did what you could in the situation with the information that you had. You did what you thought best in order to survive.

Your pain is valid. and you deserve a place in this community just the same as the rest of us.

You are valid. and you deserve the right to talk about what happened to you without fear that mentioning the gender of your attacker will cause others to shame you.

Take care of yourself, okay?

Asker Anonymous Asks:
My friends suicidal but I can't tell anyone because her dad's dead and her mother is abusive and one of the reasons she is depressed and I'm the only person she can go to but her mum has banned me from speaking to her should I tell a boarding mistress (who will probably investigate and get her into care) or should I not tell anyone. Because I'm really scared that she is going to be successful in her next attempt and now I can't even be there for her. Help.
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

You should definitely tell someone, it is really important to get your friend out the abusive environment she is in. Telling a boarding mistress would be fine, just make sure she does something about the situation. I know you’re scared because your friend is suicidal, but this is a really brave step to take and I know you can do it. Don’t hesitate to message if you need anymore help xx



Survivors Speak Out is looking for submissions!

What is Survivors Speak Out? 

Survivors Speak Out is a month long event highlighting voices often not heard within the survivor community. The aim is to make a platform for people to get their voices heard and also to help other marginalized survivors to realize that they are not alone.

What is required to submit?

All submissions must come from marginalized survivors of sexual trauma. 

What does it mean to be a marginalized survivor?

While I couldn’t possibly list all the ways that one could be marginalized, I can name a few.

Survivors of Color, Disabled Survivors, Trans Survivors, Spectrum (Mogii, LGBTPQIA+, whatever your preferred word for the community is) Survivors, Male Survivors, Survivors whose assailants were women, Survivors whose assailants were other children.

and all the lovely intersections and varying identities that come along with it. This is not a checklist or a competition of ‘whose more marginalized’, as long as you fall in a marginalized community SSO will take your submission. 

Can I submit if I’m a non-marginalized Survivor? or if I’m a survivor of non-sexual trauma?

No. This event is specifically for Survivors of Sexual Trauma from marginalized communities.

While SCaR is an open place for all survivors- this particular event is not.

Why marginalized survivors of sexual trauma?

Because these voices are often ignored in favor of experiences that fit a more common narrative. In being ignored thousands of survivors are left feeling confused or like they are the only ones. While all survivors are valid, there are certain issues that some communities of survivors face more than others, as well as some completely unique struggles. Survivor Speaks Out hopes to help address some of the problems that these survivors face.

Who runs Survivors Speak Out?

While SCaR is now home to many mods of many different walks of life, SSO is run by SCaR’s founder Kris.

They are a 21 year old white non-cis disabled queer. 

What kind of Submissions is SSO taking?

This year SSO is taking submissions for these 6  categories:

1. Letter to yourself during the crisis period.

2. Letter to survivors in your marginalized community.

3. Letter to survivors who aren’t in your community. What do you wish we understood? How can we build a better support system for each other?

4. Letters to non-survivors. What do you think they need to know? Maybe you want to write it to a specific non-survivor in your life, maybe you want to write it in general, or to the ones at your school. 

5. Art. Poetry. Drawings. Pictures. Sculptures. Music. Videos. 

6. For the last option- I would like to interview some survivors who have done things in their communities. Maybe you volunteer at a shelter or for RAINN. Maybe you helped put on a domestic violence event at your college. Maybe you fundraised for the cause. Maybe you spoke at Take Back the Night.

When is SSO taking place?

The month of September this year!

When is SSO accepting submissions? How do I submit? Can I do so anonymously?

SSO will begin accepting submissions next week- starting on July Seventh. It will continue to accept submissions for the rest of the month of July and for most of August.

All submissions must be in by August 25th. September 8th.

You can submit either by Submitting to selfcareafterrape or by emailing If you plan on submitting it straight to SCaR make sure you touch base with Kris first.

If you want it to be anonymous- that can be arranged.

Further Questions?

Can be sent to Any questions sent to SCaR itself will be deleted unanswered. This is to keep SCaR’s inbox from becoming flooded. The actual SSO will still take place on the main blog.

Someone asked and I thought I would clear this up-

it doesn’t have to be new content, it just has to be… yours. If you want to link me to an old blog post- cool. It does still need to be in letter-ish format, but that’s a pretty easy fix most of the time. (Unless it’s option 5 obviously. then it’s not in letter format.)

If you want me to share a painting you did when you were in high school. Awesome. You can link me to videos on youtube, or someone mentioned a game. Just let me know where to find it so that I can help show off your work.

It also doesn’t have to be… dark content. Like if you want to share a letter you’re writing to yourself that’s encouragement and praise- that’s okay. I’m not going to look at it and go ‘whoops that doesn’t sound survivory’ Happy things are allowed. Success stories are allowed. If you want to write a thank you letter to a non-survivor who really helped you- that is allowed.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
My friend was diagnosed with PTSD. She will be returning to my school sometime soon now, after treatment. Is there anything I should know about, when she comes back? Will I need to be wary of anything, like certain things I say or do or I don't know, I just want to be there for her.
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:
Asker Anonymous Asks:
(tw: rape, assault, violence) Sometimes I have nightmares that are flashbacks of my rape, but lately I have been having nightmares every single night and they aren't all flashbacks or memories. Sometimes they are different events that I haven't experienced but in them my life is in danger (ex: nightmares of being held at gun point, being beaten up, etc). Could these be from my PTSD from being raped even though they aren't actually what I experienced?
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Your PTSD could be affecting your sleeping and general mood which could in turn be affecting the amount of nightmares you have. So yes, in a round about way it could be from your PTSD.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
"Find jesus" I keep seeing this online but you know I think if I believed in god I'd probably jump off a bridge, even though heaven sounds so lonely. Hell would be a room full of people that talk over you and never listen… goodnight
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Why does Heaven sound lonely to you hun? Supposedly it is a place of peace and love. Also, why does it make you want to jump off a bridge? If you are interested in religion/Christianity maybe you could try going to a Church and talking to some of the pastors there (C3 Churches are good if you are interested). If not, then that’s okay too. You shouldn’t feel pressured to believe in something just because of people saying that you should.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
i seem well put together in my normal life but in reality every night I have vivid dreams about killing my terrible father for what he did. and every morning when I wake up im disappointed he's alive. and then I go about my life, trying to avoid him, and hoping he drinks himself to death, but also sad that I'm not going to be the one to avenge my childhood. nobody knows how truly fucked up I am, they all think I've forgotten. how do I forget
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Being honest with you, you probably won’t ever forget what happened. The thing you can do however is learn to lessen how much pain remembering causes you. Could you report him? Or try getting a therapist? I know it sucks knowing that your abuser is alive and fine while you have to be suffering, but things will get better I promise you. Just keep fighting okay? xx


DBT Skills Resources: Model for Describing Emotions

The Emotion Regulation Handout 4: Ways to Describe Emotions

Emotions Glossary within the DBT Skills Handbook P.76

DBT Skills Discussion List

(via creativesocialworker)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi, that thing about the red flags was me- I just wanted to say thank you for what you're doing! It helps me so, so much. I guess you have your own story and it's so amazing and brave and life-saving what you're doing. It must be so hard to confront yourself with this every day and still be positive and hopeful. So thank you! And please look after yourself, you are precious and perfect and even though I don't believe in heaven I guess you'l go there. Sending much love, hot chocolate& a hug
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

I know you sent this a couple days ago, but it seriously just made my day. I’m glad what I’m doing helps - that’s the whole point of it! You are absolutely beautiful, and thank you <3

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I've been through a lot (rape and other stuff), but I'm doing my best to heal and it's working out well. I really want to be sexually active again/date/maybe fall in love. But I'm scared that I wil get triggered or even retraumatized. I don't want to get intimate with someone who doesn't take consent very seriously, let alone someone who was/is abusive. Do you have a list of red flags to watch out for? Or something to look out for? It's so hard to feel safe again and enjoy life like I want to.
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Things to look out for in partners:

  • if they are physically rough with you (pushing, dragging, grabbing etc)
  • if they are always angry at something
  • if they don’t show any interest in you/your feelings
  • blaming all problems on you
  • telling you how to dress/act
  • feeling afraid to break up with them
  • if they call you names (fat, dumb, bitch, etc.)
  • if the consistently don’t show up for dates/stand you up
  • accuses you of cheating
  • pressures you in any way
  • is very dependent on you for all their needs
  • checks your phone messages/emails
  • makes degrading jokes about you
  • tries to cut you off from friends/family

Look here and here for any more.