PTSD Confessions

Hello! This a community to help those who suffer from or are around PTSD. If you have any questions feel free to come and talk to us. If you are submitting through the ask box, please specify this.
This blog is not trigger free, so please be careful!
Stay strong, we love you all! xx


1. Nothing you can say or do is good enough
2. They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection
3. They drag up your past and won’t allow you to be different
4. They act like they are fabulous and never make mistakes
5. They leave you feeling guilty and ashamed of who you are
6. They’re critical, controlling and don’t think about your needs
7. They leave you feeling beaten, wounded, battered, bruised and torn
8. They violate your boundaries, and they never respect “no”
9. They don’t care about your feelings – and they like to see you suffer
10. It’s always about them, and what they think, and want, and feel.


The biggest thing is to remember that Survivors are still people. I know that rape is a hard thing to talk about. I know that sometimes it feels awkward, but the important thing is to remember that your friend is still your friend- and they just need you to be patient and care.

(via selfcareafterrape)


Disclaimer: The But! series is being done to address common self victim blaming. This series is not intended to be used to educate non-survivors. This series is done by a survivor for other survivors. The pronouns used in the But! series will be random, often times switching even throughout the post.

But! I wasn’t a virgin… it shouldn’t hurt this much.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of us have heard it from others and thus internalized this idea that rape is only traumatizing if the person has never had sex before.

People who say this are equating rape and sex and they have no idea how damaging they are to survivors.

Whether or not you engaged in sexual activity before being assaulted does not matter. It does not change your worth or your validity as a survivor.

Rape is not traumatizing because someone hasn’t had sex before, it’s traumatizing because it is rape.

Your trauma is valid.

Your pain is valid.

and you deserve to be heard.


1. Try to give it form and to put it into words. Don’t allow it to be shapeless as that’s harder to resolve.
2. Agree that you will look at it and not ignore the pain - as any unexpressed emotions lead to problems later on.
3. Avoid triggers and memories that take you back in time, and open up old wounds, so you feel the pain again.
4. Ground yourself in the present and who you are today – and remember you have strengths, and good people in your life.
5. Don’t allow the hurt and pain to take control of who you are, or limit what you’ll do, or the goals you set yourself.
6. Spend as much time as possible with those who treat you well – with those who see your worth, and who love and value you.


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Disclaimer: The But! series is being done to address common self victim blaming. This series is not intended to be used to educate non-survivors. This series is done by a survivor for other survivors. The pronouns used in the But! series will be random, often times switching even throughout the post.

But… women can’t rape…

But it can’t be as bad because she was a girl.

Survivors who have been raped and abused by women are often dismissed because women aren’t the stereotyped attacker.

But women can coerce and use force just the same as men can. and women can and do abuse their positions of power in order to get away with rape and abuse. Society only enables this by claiming that women cannot be abusers/rapists.

If you were raped by a woman, you are still allowed to just call it rape. You are not some asterisk, some subset that is somehow lesser. What you went through is no less traumatic due to the gender of the person doing the assaulting.

It does not mean that you should have been able to get away- to over power her, because after all, you were evenly matched or stronger. We recognize the argument ‘you should have fought more’ as victim blaming when talking to survivors of men, and we can do the same when talking to survivors of women. Physical strength is not the only type of threat out there, and the idea that women must be weak enough to be easily fought off is ridiculous.

Your trauma is valid. You did what you could in the situation with the information that you had. You did what you thought best in order to survive.

Your pain is valid. and you deserve a place in this community just the same as the rest of us.

You are valid. and you deserve the right to talk about what happened to you without fear that mentioning the gender of your attacker will cause others to shame you.

Take care of yourself, okay?

Asker Anonymous Asks:
My friends suicidal but I can't tell anyone because her dad's dead and her mother is abusive and one of the reasons she is depressed and I'm the only person she can go to but her mum has banned me from speaking to her should I tell a boarding mistress (who will probably investigate and get her into care) or should I not tell anyone. Because I'm really scared that she is going to be successful in her next attempt and now I can't even be there for her. Help.
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

You should definitely tell someone, it is really important to get your friend out the abusive environment she is in. Telling a boarding mistress would be fine, just make sure she does something about the situation. I know you’re scared because your friend is suicidal, but this is a really brave step to take and I know you can do it. Don’t hesitate to message if you need anymore help xx



Survivors Speak Out is looking for submissions!

What is Survivors Speak Out? 

Survivors Speak Out is a month long event highlighting voices often not heard within the survivor community. The aim is to make a platform for people to get their voices heard and also to help other marginalized survivors to realize that they are not alone.

What is required to submit?

All submissions must come from marginalized survivors of sexual trauma. 

What does it mean to be a marginalized survivor?

While I couldn’t possibly list all the ways that one could be marginalized, I can name a few.

Survivors of Color, Disabled Survivors, Trans Survivors, Spectrum (Mogii, LGBTPQIA+, whatever your preferred word for the community is) Survivors, Male Survivors, Survivors whose assailants were women, Survivors whose assailants were other children.

and all the lovely intersections and varying identities that come along with it. This is not a checklist or a competition of ‘whose more marginalized’, as long as you fall in a marginalized community SSO will take your submission. 

Can I submit if I’m a non-marginalized Survivor? or if I’m a survivor of non-sexual trauma?

No. This event is specifically for Survivors of Sexual Trauma from marginalized communities.

While SCaR is an open place for all survivors- this particular event is not.

Why marginalized survivors of sexual trauma?

Because these voices are often ignored in favor of experiences that fit a more common narrative. In being ignored thousands of survivors are left feeling confused or like they are the only ones. While all survivors are valid, there are certain issues that some communities of survivors face more than others, as well as some completely unique struggles. Survivor Speaks Out hopes to help address some of the problems that these survivors face.

Who runs Survivors Speak Out?

While SCaR is now home to many mods of many different walks of life, SSO is run by SCaR’s founder Kris.

They are a 21 year old white non-cis disabled queer. 

What kind of Submissions is SSO taking?

This year SSO is taking submissions for these 6  categories:

1. Letter to yourself during the crisis period.

2. Letter to survivors in your marginalized community.

3. Letter to survivors who aren’t in your community. What do you wish we understood? How can we build a better support system for each other?

4. Letters to non-survivors. What do you think they need to know? Maybe you want to write it to a specific non-survivor in your life, maybe you want to write it in general, or to the ones at your school. 

5. Art. Poetry. Drawings. Pictures. Sculptures. Music. Videos. 

6. For the last option- I would like to interview some survivors who have done things in their communities. Maybe you volunteer at a shelter or for RAINN. Maybe you helped put on a domestic violence event at your college. Maybe you fundraised for the cause. Maybe you spoke at Take Back the Night.

When is SSO taking place?

The month of September this year!

When is SSO accepting submissions? How do I submit? Can I do so anonymously?

SSO will begin accepting submissions next week- starting on July Seventh. It will continue to accept submissions for the rest of the month of July and for most of August.

All submissions must be in by August 25th. September 8th.

You can submit either by Submitting to selfcareafterrape or by emailing If you plan on submitting it straight to SCaR make sure you touch base with Kris first.

If you want it to be anonymous- that can be arranged.

Further Questions?

Can be sent to Any questions sent to SCaR itself will be deleted unanswered. This is to keep SCaR’s inbox from becoming flooded. The actual SSO will still take place on the main blog.

Someone asked and I thought I would clear this up-

it doesn’t have to be new content, it just has to be… yours. If you want to link me to an old blog post- cool. It does still need to be in letter-ish format, but that’s a pretty easy fix most of the time. (Unless it’s option 5 obviously. then it’s not in letter format.)

If you want me to share a painting you did when you were in high school. Awesome. You can link me to videos on youtube, or someone mentioned a game. Just let me know where to find it so that I can help show off your work.

It also doesn’t have to be… dark content. Like if you want to share a letter you’re writing to yourself that’s encouragement and praise- that’s okay. I’m not going to look at it and go ‘whoops that doesn’t sound survivory’ Happy things are allowed. Success stories are allowed. If you want to write a thank you letter to a non-survivor who really helped you- that is allowed.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
My friend was diagnosed with PTSD. She will be returning to my school sometime soon now, after treatment. Is there anything I should know about, when she comes back? Will I need to be wary of anything, like certain things I say or do or I don't know, I just want to be there for her.
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said: