PTSD Confessions

Hello! This a community to help those who suffer from or are around PTSD. If you have any questions feel free to come and talk to us. If you are submitting through the ask box, please specify this.
This blog is not trigger free, so please be careful!
Stay strong, we love you all! xx

selfcareafterrape:

Corrective rape occurs when someone rapes a spectrum* individual with the aims to make them cis and/or straight, and/or punish them for not being cis and/or straight.

Their identity is used both in targeting them, and in taunting them throughout the trauma. It is used as an excuse.

While survivors of corrective rape span many orientations and genders, it is often primarily aimed at trans women and women perceived to be lesbians. Corrective rape can also happen to children, particularly gender-variant children, and some attackers will hold it over the child’s head as a way to further ensure their silence.

These survivors tend to have one of two reactions, many will retreat back into the closet and others will take it as ‘I have nothing left to lose’ and start to be more open and loud with their identities/activism regarding it. A great deal of them will be suspicious/anxious around ‘the other’ after their assault, wondering who will hurt them next.

Survivors of corrective rape need support from their spectrum community, and the survivor community. Not to be treated poorly because of their identities, or their hesitations to trust cishets after what happened to them.

They do not need to be further marginalized by ‘are you sure you aren’t _____ because you don’t want to be with someone like your attacker?’; in the case of polysexuals, be told that they’re only into people of their attacker’s gender because of the trauma; or be told that maybe they are the gender they are because either ‘you learned that [gender of attacker] is stronger than [your assigned/designated at birth gender]’ or ‘you just don’t want to be [gender of attacker].’

selfcareafterrape:

but they asked it non-anon, but I think it might help to answer it here because a lot of folks struggle with this.

The gist of it (because I don’t want to accidentally out you with details) is ’ I was recently assaulted, how do I get back to sleep?’

And on one hand, we do have these two posts. About Sleep and more specifically Nightmares.  and I do advise you to read both of those.

but I also am going to point out some ones that really helped me.

and also say.. unfortunately, that close to what happened… sleep isn’t going to be easy and it isn’t going to be something I can solve for you.  After my assault… I went 80 hours without sleeping on a regular basis. I exhausted myself to the point that I literally fell asleep standing up in a store, fell asleep standing up on a bus once, I might have tried to take a nap on the sidewalk outside of target, and notably- once fell asleep in the middle of dinner- literally face in my plate style. I was in college and everyone kind of got used to it. I had three different friends who often caught me, or pulled me under their arm because I’d be too exhausted to really walk by myself. (also if you can. avoid going 80 hours. nightmares are better than what happens when you stay awake that long. Trust me on that. )

I don’t tell you that to make you feel hopeless, because I did eventually figure some things out.

FIRST stop drinking caffeine. No really. stop. I was sitting there, sleep deprived enough that I was hallucinating half the time- and literally.. I spent most of my food plan on caffeine. Like 7 20 oz a day of my preferred soda, coffee in the afternoon, and at least 3 energy drinks. Usually more. and occasionally those weird energy products as well. We had ones in our store that were gummies and I was under the impression that a pack of those counted as eating a meal. (… I wasn’t that good at eating either. shhh.)

Fun fact- you can ‘od’ on caffeine. I did this multiple times. While it is nothing like oding on the other things I did. When you’re already a sleep deprived mess- suddenly feeling all the pores in your face and all the blood rushing through your body except where you’ve gone numb, and thinking your heart is going to explode…. not fun times.

If you can’t stop completely- majorly ween it.  Other than this past week where I drank dr. pepper to deal with campers- I’d gone… 3-4 months? without caffeine.  My life is much better for it. much better.

Second:

Change the way where you sleep looks like.

I’ve known people who literally the only thing it took for them to be able to get to sleep- was to change where their bed was. I don’t know why this is a thing. But I can tell you that it is.

I was fond of forts.It was a dark enclosed space. I also was fond of sleeping on the ground (I kept my mattress there.) 

Also, fairy lights or night lights of some kind do amazing things for a lot of folks. 

Make the place you sleep- a safe place. I think the reason the moving thing works is that it helps break the ‘this is a scary place this is where I stay awake/this is where I nightmare’ cycle. If there’s a blanket or a stuffed animal that you could use, use it. there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I know someone who after their assault, could only sleep in the living room. That’s okay too. Find what works for you.

Three:

If you have awesome friends, use them.

Eventually people get tired of catching you when you fall asleep standing up. when they get tired of that, they make everyone go back to the dorm, put you on the common room couch and tuck you in.

It became a thing.  While two of my friends studied, I slept on the couch. Usually for less than an hour. Sometimes we’d do it in the morning and in the evening. But it was at least sleep. I started to get more stable as I went from not sleeping for 80 hours with small crashes in between. To at least having an hour or two a day.

Another weekend- her and her roommate both left. Her roommate came running up to me in the hallway and thrust their key in my hand. ’ We’re going to be gone and everyone knows you don’t sleep in your room. You can sleep in here this weekend’. It was super sweet.

Four:

Have a night routine. When I started sleeping again at night- I had a routine. and I followed it, every night. It involved getting away from electronics at a certain time and then I dumped. I wrote poetry I wrote about what upset me that day I wrote about my worries or I drew or I did something that got out the feelings. Some days I just punched my reflex bag.  and then I showered. and then I laid down in bed, and listened to either like.. ted talks or calming music quietly as I tried to drift off to sleep.

If in 30 minutes I was still awake, I allowed myself to get up and read or write until I was ready to try laying down again.

But also- definitely read the nightmare piece. There are ways to process and work through nightmares. It’s a way of finding something that works for you.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
What are the signs of emotional abuse?
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

mental-health-advice:

Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.

Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.

Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.

Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.

Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.

Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,

Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.

Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.

Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.

Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.

Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.

Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.

Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.

Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.

Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.

Love, Salem

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi, so I have a problem. I've been looking into getting a weighted blanket (for when I have flashbacks and need grounding) but my skin is very sensitive. I can't find any that are faux fur or that kind if soft texture. If you have any ideas please let me know!
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Cozy Calm - they say that they can send you a fabric sample if you want
Weightedblanket.net - have information on their fabrics and I’m pretty sure they have soft blanket material
Sensory Goods

National Autism Resources - the ones linked are fur but you might need to look into it a little more because I think these are just covers to go over another weighted blanket (which is another idea you may want to consider

How to make a weighted blanket - you would have to buy the materials yourself, but it would probably end up being cheaper
Another tutorial

Good luck with finding one you like lovely xx

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi! What are the posable treatments for PTSD? And would they differ drastically because of the cause?
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
This involves gradually exposing yourself to thoughts and feelings related to the trauma. It also involves identifying distorted thoughts and replacing them with more balanced ones.
Kati Morton Video

EMDR
General Overview
This is probably the most informative
Can you benefit from EMDR?
Wikipedia

Dialectial Behaviour Therapy
DBT for managing PTSD
Kati Morton Video
How DBT can help trauma victims

Medication
There are several types of medication you can use, although I think antidepressants are most commonly used. If you are considering medication you should talk to a doctor about it as they can give their opinion and prescribe it to you.

To my knowledge the type of treatment doesn’t differ much because of the cause.

selfcareafterrape:

Survivors Speak Out is looking for submissions!

What is Survivors Speak Out? 

Survivors Speak Out is a month long event highlighting voices often not heard within the survivor community. The aim is to make a platform for people to get their voices heard and also to help other marginalized survivors to realize that they are not alone.

What is required to submit?

All submissions must come from marginalized survivors of sexual trauma. 

What does it mean to be a marginalized survivor?

While I couldn’t possibly list all the ways that one could be marginalized, I can name a few.

Survivors of Color, Disabled Survivors, Trans Survivors, Spectrum (Mogii, LGBTPQIA+, whatever your preferred word for the community is) Survivors, Male Survivors, Survivors whose assailants were women, Survivors whose assailants were other children.

and all the lovely intersections and varying identities that come along with it. This is not a checklist or a competition of ‘whose more marginalized’, as long as you fall in a marginalized community SSO will take your submission. 

Can I submit if I’m a non-marginalized Survivor? or if I’m a survivor of non-sexual trauma?

No. This event is specifically for Survivors of Sexual Trauma from marginalized communities.

While SCaR is an open place for all survivors- this particular event is not.

Why marginalized survivors of sexual trauma?

Because these voices are often ignored in favor of experiences that fit a more common narrative. In being ignored thousands of survivors are left feeling confused or like they are the only ones. While all survivors are valid, there are certain issues that some communities of survivors face more than others, as well as some completely unique struggles. Survivor Speaks Out hopes to help address some of the problems that these survivors face.

Who runs Survivors Speak Out?

While SCaR is now home to many mods of many different walks of life, SSO is run by SCaR’s founder Kris.

They are a 21 year old white non-cis disabled queer. 

What kind of Submissions is SSO taking?

This year SSO is taking submissions for these 6  categories:

1. Letter to yourself during the crisis period.

2. Letter to survivors in your marginalized community.

3. Letter to survivors who aren’t in your community. What do you wish we understood? How can we build a better support system for each other?

4. Letters to non-survivors. What do you think they need to know? Maybe you want to write it to a specific non-survivor in your life, maybe you want to write it in general, or to the ones at your school. 

5. Art. Poetry. Drawings. Pictures. Sculptures. Music. Videos. 

6. For the last option- I would like to interview some survivors who have done things in their communities. Maybe you volunteer at a shelter or for RAINN. Maybe you helped put on a domestic violence event at your college. Maybe you fundraised for the cause. Maybe you spoke at Take Back the Night.

When is SSO taking place?

The month of September this year!

When is SSO accepting submissions? How do I submit? Can I do so anonymously?

SSO will begin accepting submissions next week- starting on July 7th. It will continue to accept submissions for the rest of the month of July and for most of August.

All submissions must be in by August 25th.

You can submit either by Submitting to selfcareafterrape or by emailing selfcareafterrape@gmail.com. If you plan on submitting it straight to SCaR make sure you touch base with Kris first.

If you want it to be anonymous- that can be arranged.

Further Questions?

Can be sent to ssoquestions.tumblr.com. Any questions sent to SCaR itself will be deleted unanswered. This is to keep SCaR’s inbox from becoming flooded. The actual SSO will still take place on the main blog.

(via selfcareafterrape)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Do you have any information about on how child sexual abuse can affect sexuality? Just like different ways things can get mixed up later
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Here is a study that was done (only about females) in 1999. I cant really find any other relevant resources, so I’ll just give you my opinion. I would say that it would have an impact in the way that if you were a girl abused by a man then later in life you might tend to shy away from intimacy with men and not have an interest in them. Does that make sense? If anyone else has any thoughts/information on this feel free to message in xx

Asker Anonymous Asks:
How many American soldiers suffer from PTSD?
ptsdconfessions ptsdconfessions Said:

Different websites claim different things… 1 in 3, 1 in 5, 1 in 8. Go with whichever one you consider to be the best source.

selfcareafterrape:

In honor of that: Major trigger warnings for sexual assault/rape for all of these.

But I think.. poetry and knowing that other people experience these things too allows us to connect. It can help inspire us to write our own pieces. Poetry can help us process. But only listen if you’re going to be okay doing so and make sure to take care of yourself.

Blue Blanket by Andrea Gibson

One Color by Neil Hilborn and Ollie Schminkey 

Black and Blue by Jasmine Mans and Alysia Harris

Communion by Jeanann Verlee

And/Or by Jeanann Verlee

Paperdolls by Sierra Demulder

Unsolicited Advice (after Jeanann Verlee) by Tony Ingram

An Open Letter from Harley Quinn to the Joker by Lauren Bullock

A Survivor’s Guide to saying Yes by Anna Binkovitz

Trellis by Andrea Gibson

On Admitting You are an Abuse Survivor by Sierra Demulder

and this poem has nothing to do with the topic- but it’s the poem that I listen to to make myself feel better. so I’m sharing it here with you. It isn’t a particularly inspirational poem and I can’t tell you why it makes me feel better- but it does.

For those who can still ride in Airplanes by Anis Mojani

(via selfcareafterrape)

onlinecounsellingcollege:

There is a difference between blaming and shaming a person. Blaming is being told you did something wrong. Shaming is being told that there’s something wrong with you, and you’re worthless, bad, inferior or inadequate. Examples of shaming statements include:

· “You were a mistake; I wish I’d never had you”

· “You’re useless; you’ll never amount to anything.”

· “You could never do what he/she does”

· “You’ve ruined my life; you ruin everything for everyone”

Adults shamed in childhood have the following traits:

1. They are afraid to share their true thoughts and feelings with others.

2. They are terrified of intimacy and put up walls in relationships. They also fear commitment as they expect to be rejected.

3. They are often extremely shy, easily embarrassed, and are terrified of being shamed or humiliated. They tend to suffer from debilitating false guilt.

4. They struggle with feelings of worthlessness and believe they are inferior to others. They believe that is something they can never change as worthlessness is at the core of who they are.

5. They often feel ugly and flawed, even when they’re beautiful – and everyone tells them that.

6. They may be narcissistic and act as if they have it all together; alternatively, they may be completely selfless, almost to the point of being a doormat.

7. They are often very defensive and find it hard to bear the slightest criticism. They feel as if they are being constantly watched and judged.

8. They have a pervasive sense of loneliness and always feel like outsiders (even when others genuinely like and love them).

9. They feel controlled – as if they always have to do want others want and say – and this blocks spontaneity.

10. They are perfectionists and usually suffer from performance anxiety. This may also cause them to be procrastinators.

11. They tend to block their feelings through compulsive behaviors like eating disorders, retail therapy or substance-abuse.

12. They find it hard to establish and enforce healthy boundaries with others.