Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.
National Autism Resources - the ones linked are fur but you might need to look into it a little more because I think these are just covers to go over another weighted blanket (which is another idea you may want to consider
Good luck with finding one you like lovely xx
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
This involves gradually exposing yourself to thoughts and feelings related to the trauma. It also involves identifying distorted thoughts and replacing them with more balanced ones.
Kati Morton Video
There are several types of medication you can use, although I think antidepressants are most commonly used. If you are considering medication you should talk to a doctor about it as they can give their opinion and prescribe it to you.
To my knowledge the type of treatment doesn’t differ much because of the cause.
Here is a study that was done (only about females) in 1999. I cant really find any other relevant resources, so I’ll just give you my opinion. I would say that it would have an impact in the way that if you were a girl abused by a man then later in life you might tend to shy away from intimacy with men and not have an interest in them. Does that make sense? If anyone else has any thoughts/information on this feel free to message in xx
There is a difference between blaming and shaming a person. Blaming is being told you did something wrong. Shaming is being told that there’s something wrong with you, and you’re worthless, bad, inferior or inadequate. Examples of shaming statements include:
· “You were a mistake; I wish I’d never had you”
· “You’re useless; you’ll never amount to anything.”
· “You could never do what he/she does”
· “You’ve ruined my life; you ruin everything for everyone”
Adults shamed in childhood have the following traits:
1. They are afraid to share their true thoughts and feelings with others.
2. They are terrified of intimacy and put up walls in relationships. They also fear commitment as they expect to be rejected.
3. They are often extremely shy, easily embarrassed, and are terrified of being shamed or humiliated. They tend to suffer from debilitating false guilt.
4. They struggle with feelings of worthlessness and believe they are inferior to others. They believe that is something they can never change as worthlessness is at the core of who they are.
5. They often feel ugly and flawed, even when they’re beautiful – and everyone tells them that.
6. They may be narcissistic and act as if they have it all together; alternatively, they may be completely selfless, almost to the point of being a doormat.
7. They are often very defensive and find it hard to bear the slightest criticism. They feel as if they are being constantly watched and judged.
8. They have a pervasive sense of loneliness and always feel like outsiders (even when others genuinely like and love them).
9. They feel controlled – as if they always have to do want others want and say – and this blocks spontaneity.
10. They are perfectionists and usually suffer from performance anxiety. This may also cause them to be procrastinators.
11. They tend to block their feelings through compulsive behaviors like eating disorders, retail therapy or substance-abuse.
12. They find it hard to establish and enforce healthy boundaries with others.
When you start feeling scared there are a few things you could do…
Try to start seeing a therapist/counsellor as they will be able to talk through the specifics of your situation. You could also come up with a plan of what to do if they do come back into your life… eg. Go to a neighbour’s house/busy street and call the police.. etc.. Knowing what you can do in the situation you are scared about can sometimes make it seem less scary.
Remember that you are going to be okay, and we are always here if you need someone to talk to xx